The Lord is pruning me so. As soon as I uploaded 022 on my desire to abide in Him that I may develop good fruit that will overrun the bad weeds that’ve grown in the garden of my soul, today He revealed to me one specific way in which I’m fertilising the weeds and need to stop.
Okay let me make the flowery metaphorical language concrete. He showed me that I get hurried in my spirit because I am poor at keeping margins in my life.
Err let me try again, it’s still very metaphorical. Take 3: God showed me that I am overestimating my capacity, which leads to my agreeing to take on too many things, which leads to me getting all flustered and time-pressed.
When I took an honest and hard look at what was on my plate and what the kadoodle I was so busy about this week, I realised that so much of it were (a) things that I agreed to help fill in for people at late notice or (b) things that I spend time on because I expect a certain quality and just can’t stop working on till I get it. (Excellence and perfectionism is a very thin line and I may just be crossing over into the latter.)
My cubicle mates today bore the brunt of my wailing “Gosh what am I doing. Why am I so silly to heap stuff onto my existing load.” And so on and so forth. Bless their patient, temperate hearts.
Exactly why I have the tendency to (a) and (b), I don’t know. I bet there’s more to unearth. But I’m thankful God peeled back one layer today and showed me this broken area so that I can let Him come fix it.