Even in Laughter, the Heart May Ache

Each heart knows its own bitterness,
and no one else can share its joy.
[…]
Even in laughter the heart may ache,
and rejoicing may end in grief.

Proverbs 14 is so poignant today as soft light fills the room. I’m typing a blog post at the decadent time of 4:30pm to procrastinate on some music that I need to be working on before I head to church for the weekly rehearsal.

The fact that the Bible captures our existential contradictions to the very nuances is a comfort for my aching yet happy heart today. I’m single, but I want to be married. I’m earning my monthly keep, but I’m always too broke for the next best thing. I do well in Bible school, but it’s not enough. I’m always happy, and I’m always aching. And see, it’s even there in the Bible. It’s a beautiful contradiction and I like to wade around in it sometimes, when life slows down enough, on a day like today where rest is the operative word to be effective at work when I resume.

How true that in happiness you can still have sorrow, and hollow hearts can still have joy. Moments of euphoria like a wee bird, fleeting, land on and fly away from their precarious perch on the fingertips of our desires. What remains after flight? Nothing but the steady heart of God, pouring into us the constancy, faithfulness, goodness of his presence, a presence that says “I will never leave you. I will not forsake you.”

Might it be that God put in Proverbs 14 such a nuanced truth so that we will forever learn that in this world, we will always have yet want, and so we look heavenward for a resting place for our hopes?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s