In the midst of a reply to a colleague’s question today I was chopping up my sentences with involuntary expulsions of air from my chest. In short, I was coughing.
“I’m not sick.” I stated as factually as I could. I immediately realised he didn’t actually ask. My answer to a non-existent question revealed more than I intended to.
“Go home and rest,” he nagged, stretching out the words “home” and “rest” as if I needed to be reminded of where I should actually be and what I should actually be doing – resting, home.
“I’m not sick,” I said again, this time trying to convince myself, not him.
You see, I need to let you know this: a clean bill of health is high stakes for me right now. I need to not be sick because I ate two pieces of chocolate today against better judgment. These are excellent brain food, pop them in and you can survive fifteen more minutes of meeting.
I need to be not coughing because I just carried a precious six month old close to me for a good few minutes yesterday. Oh Lord bless that baby with a surge of antibodies from his mother’s milk tonight as he feeds please in Jesus’ name amen.
I need to be not sick again. I was sick in January, then in February, and then in March. I was so tired of the hat trick that I resolved in my heart to eat cleaner and exercise more. And so I did. Good health is a reward for the four meals of brown rice that I’ve consumed this week as healthier replacements for the usual eating out and the almost-daily exercise regime I put my body through, so this body of mine had better not caught a something, anything.
I need to be not under the weather because I’d like to think that staying up on documentaries, books, TED talks and longform reads is not going to cost me a weakened immune system directly correlated to a lack of sleep.
So many justifications to make, you see. So, I’m not sick.
Oh, but who am I kidding. I’ve succumbed, dumped 10 mils of cough syrup into my system and this post trails off at 300-ish words because drowsiness has set in. At least the coughing has stopped. The right thing to do would be to sleep now, stay off the chocolates, keep up the healthy eating and exercise and stop the media consumption past bedtime. Tonight, discipline wins as I remember what John Piper wrote in the Solid Joys devotional I read this morning:
You have a body. But it is not yours. “You have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6:20) You are always in a temple. Always worship.
It’s become plain to me that worship now would be to get some good rest in and stop pushing this body of mine further. Ergo….
At 12.13am, I’m heading to bed. It’s late for most of you, but pretty early for me. I rarely sleep before midnight.